A spring in my step :)

I am still surprised at how drastically my health can change from day to day! I have spent the past week pretty exhausted, listening to CDs or reading in my room. My daughters and grandbabies came by to visit me and we would sit on my bed to talk or play, maybe go downstairs for a meal, and then it was back to bed for me. But today Mackenzie thought I had lost my mind when she got up and was preparing to bring me breakfast in bed like usual, but instead found me fully dressed in the kitchen getting things together to head out for the day!

All of a sudden, I feel back to myself. It's not just having more energy, it's my overall mental outlook too. I had been suffering from a bad case of "chemo brain" lately. Yes, that's a real thing. It's a phenomenon of mild cognitive impairment that doctors and patients have noticed occurs during cancer treatment. No one has really pinpointed why it happens or a solution for it, they just know it happens. I've always been a talker, but lately I found myself having absolutely nothing to say. Literally! I would sit there and try to come up with anything, but not a single thought would come to mind. Bob joked that meditators train years to achieve the clear mind I was complaining about. Not only was my mind a blank, but I also had a lack of enthusiasm. Even the stuff I usually loved to do didn't seem exciting to me. It was really a rather dull way to be.

But today is a whole new ball game. Mackenzie and I went to JoAnn's Fabrics to pick up some threads and buttons to match material I had to make Annabelle some dresses. I came out with enough fabric to make her at least eight more outfits! Everything was just so cute! And I felt excited about sewing again! I've been cutting out patterns all afternoon. We also got plants to fix up my front garden, which I haven't really cared about improving in weeks.

I went to see my physician Dr. Groene yesterday. Appointments with her are invaluable to me because she is a caring friend and a survivor of severe breast cancer, so she offers me answers and advice from first-hand experience. I was so relieved to finally have one of my most plaguing questions answered! Although I've been eating well and taking good care of myself, I have been growing steadily bigger throughout my torso without gaining any actual weight, and no one could give me a reason why. They just kept telling me it had nothing to do with my cancer. Dr. Groene finally explained to me that it is a side effect of the steroids I receive with my chemo. Of course, this makes perfect sense! Maybe if I started lifting weights, I could become a body builder in the next few months instead of just a rounder version of myself. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders after spending some time hearing about Dr. Groene's experiences with cancer and chemo and realizing I am completely normal.

Hopefully I'll get a few darling dresses made for Annabelle by the next post, so I can add pictures of her in them!