Remembering His Promises

Back in chemo today, and I've become much more comfortable with the process. As I'm entering this third cycle, my outlook has changed. The first round was scary because despite all the information I was given before starting treatment, the side effects I felt were not at all what I expected. When these surprising results assailed my body all at once, it felt like I was being assaulted not only by my disease, but by its treatment. That was when I had the breakdown and sat crying in my oncologist's office. Now my expectations and my perspective have evolved. I know basically what is coming and how to prepare for it. I know which days in the cycle will probably be my good days and which will be my bad days, so it is not as upsetting when I experience pain and fatigue. I know that it will pass in a matter of days, and I just need to listen to my body and rest. This way, cancer does not control my entire existence, it is simply a change in my life that God has helped me adjust to. In fact, it reminds me of the changes you have to make when you're having a baby or you are going to have a visitor for a while. You need to keep it in mind when you make plans, it affects some aspects of your life, but it certainly doesn't stop your life. You continue on doing the things you enjoyed before, but you just take this change in your life into consideration as you live.

Just now as I received my chemo infusion, I recognized a fellow member of my church and Westminster Academy mom, Linda. She is here with her son Justin, who is also a patient of Dr. Segota, for his 16th and final chemo treatment. Praise God! Linda offered the encouragement that God is playing an active role in every moment of my day. He will personally see me through this time, and has given me many promises in His Word I can cling to. In fact, as we spoke about chemo specifically, she quoted parts of Mark 16:15-20 which offers many promises to His believers, including, "When they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." It is amazing how God never forgets my need for fellowship, support, and encouragement.

I had another appointment with Dr. Segota last week where we discussed the pain I've been having after my Zometa infusions. Zometa is a drug I have been getting every four weeks to prevent bone lesions since the cancer is in my spine. I usually experience severe pain through my legs and feet after these treatments. Since the chemo is every three weeks but the Zometa is every four, my days of bad side effects don't sync up. Once I'm finished with the hard days resulting from my chemo, I have to go back to the hospital for Zometa followed by those painful days. Dr. Segota said we'll skip the Zometa this cycle, since the cancer is in my short bones rather than long bones, which makes it not as imperative as it could be for me to take this drug. We are going to try the Zometa again on the same day as my fourth cycle of chemo so that hopefully all the side effects of the chemo, Zometa, and other drugs will come in the same few days, which will allow me more days of feeling well afterwards. If this works, we will probably switch my Zometa regimen to every six weeks so that it coincides with every other chemo cycle.

Dr. Segota also told us that we will redo my CATscans during this cycle of chemo, so we can judge what progress has been made. She said even if the tests show that nothing has changed, this is good news. We are trying to slow down the spread of the cancer as much as possible. These tests will be performed in a couple of weeks, so please keep those results in your prayers specifically. Linda offered me another verse as we talked that I know will strengthen me as we wait for answers. Psalm 112:7 says, "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."

Bob's mother Bea was planning on visiting this past weekend, and we were very disappointed to find out at the last minute she couldn't come because of an unexpected issue with her hearing aide. We always enjoy seeing her and were looking forward to spending time with her. Since Bob had already planned to take Friday off work, we decided to drive to Naples and spend the weekend relaxing together. We love to visit the older neighborhoods of the Gulf Coast to shop, eat great food, and enjoy the view. It was just what we needed, and we both felt rejuvenated after the short trip.

Thank you for continuing to uplift me through your comments and prayers. I am truly blessed.