An end in sight!

We had another oncology appointment with Dr. Segota last Wednesday where we discussed my chemotherapy treatment. She said studies of patients in my position show that they live longest and most comfortably when they receive a limited number of chemo treatments rather than continuing them indefinitely. This is because eventually the detrimental effects on the body outweigh the positive. Medically speaking, curing my cancer is not a possibility, so Dr. Segota wants to stick with the plan that shows the best quality and length of remaining life for patients with stage 4 lung cancer. So after two more cycles, we will stop the chemo, and I will continue to receive Avastin and Zometa, which are drugs that have already been a part of my treatment which inhibit the development of nourishing blood vessels for the tumors and prevent complications from the cancer in my bones, respectively. After my last chemo treatment, which will be June 17, I will undergo tests to gage the current status of my cancer, and these tests will be repeated every three months. If there is unexpected tumor growth, or I show poor symptoms, we would consider repeating chemo. I immediately felt relieved and encouraged to hear there was an end in sight to these chemo cycles. I can't imagine how people deal with the ups and downs of this treatment for years. I have been getting chemo every three weeks, so I've become used to this schedule where I feel awful for the week after treatment and then alright for two, but I am eagerly looking forward to the time when my health will feel more stable.

Discussing finishing my chemo cycles and the limits of medicine again reminded me of God's sovereignty in my life. He is in control of this entire situation, and it may very well be that I do not have much longer to live. I still believe that if God chooses to heal me, He could defy all medical odds and do it, but if He doesn't, I am happy to rest in His plan for me. Taking me home to be with Him in heaven is not exactly a consolation prize to healing me here on earth! It is the ultimate joy, so I have a great peace and in fact a yearning to experience it at the time God has planned for me. Knowing that my cancer is this severe has encouraged me to live more fully in the time I have left on earth, so in that way it has been a great blessing for me. I take little for granted and am thrilled by all the inspiring and even the more mundane aspects of daily living. I feel fortunate that God has given me this time to gain some perspective and live in a more fulfilling way.

The Biltmore Mansion was as impressive as I expected, and we had beautiful weather all weekend. We got to tour the home, vineyard, and gardens. Bob and I found everyone who worked at the Biltmore to be personable and well-spoken and were impressed by their dedication and pride in their jobs. One of my favorite parts was striking up a conversation with a gardner who had worked on the estate for nine years and whose father had held the same job before him for his entire life. He had fascinating stories to share about George Vanderbilt, who had built the mansion, and his family and servants who had lived there with him. I was amazed at how progressive and cutting edge the bachelor Vanderbilt had been when he built this dream home. The entire place was constructed out of concrete instead of the usual wood to prevent fires, but there was also an intricate fire alarm system installed throughout the estate. It was also the first residence in the US to run on electricity and have home telephones. He not only created a home noteworthy for its size, but also for its top of the line and advanced design. As I mentioned last week, Bob had reserved a wheelchair for me so I wouldn't exhaust myself with the tours. We discovered that crowded, unfamiliar tourist attractions are probably not the best places to get accustomed to pushing a wheelchair. We were knocking people over left and right, and while my legs never got tired, I ended up with some souvenir neck pain from Bob's daredevil navigating.

Annabelle and Addison have been able to have some extra sleepovers at Gram's the past few days, and they keep us laughing. The other day Annabelle was curious about all my new hats since I've lost my hair and asked, "Gram, why do you wear those hats all the time? Is it so birds don't poop on your head?" She had no clue why I cracked up, so I explained to her that I hadn't thought of that specific benefit to headwear. She gets to sleep with Gram and Bob when she stays over, and she has taken to wearing a nightcap too to be more like Gram. She is completely adorable.

Memorial Day having just passed, I have to tell you all how proud I am of my son Steve who enlisted in the Navy seventeen years ago. I am so thankful for the selfless service of Steve and the many other military men and women who have taken up this sacrificial profession both now and in past generations.